the soft work of being witnessed

"even in your quietest moments, you are worthy of witness.”

heyyy readers,
my first post in a while being on the practice of being seen — lol.
i’ve been sitting with this essay-poem-journalentry (?) since 2023. but new moon in sag, in sagittarius szn, calls for being seen. this, too, is another form of freedom. 🏹
happy almost end of fall, missed yallll <3

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in late October of 2023, I attended a gallery of art, vulnerability, and joy presented by Black Woman Photographers, GOOD Mirrors, and co-curated by Tina Knowles and Genel Ambrose.

a view into the catalog, view more of this work here

“… the (beautiful) work of WITNESS features Black women and non-binary artists who project their vision of the world, society, community, and themselves throughout their art.”

what wit offers me glory like this? 
                                                            eyes tracing 
the call and response of this body
                                         this life
a testimony without words
a joy
a truth
a silence                           
                                          a witness.
the sun will kiss the sky one morning and it will be you who has the lock and key
you will open the door to yourself
and see
bear witness
so
would you witness you at your smallest?
your fullest?
in your lonely? in your joy? 

remember that you are the muse, you are the mirror
you are the witness to this great, big life

I don’t know when it clicked for me that I was living outside of my body, but it was somewhere at the end of the year and I felt that I hadn’t sat with time enough. I had been going through too many days viewing myself objectively rather than witnessing myself as the full and flawed being I was. that too was part of “the process,” right?

I had grown so detached from the joyfulmessysexy experience of witnessing my life that I grew callous toward the way I did the best with what I had.

and from this my reflection did not impress me.

but the act of being Black and Woman meant to impress others with a magic I often felt I owed to everyone but my Self.

A smaller of me believes that to Witness is to have power over the one being witnessed. that is, to be seen is to be attempted to be known. And people can choose to reduce you, even with good intention, to the responsible one, the smart one, the reliable one.

Recognizing how reductive and convenient these one-dimensional labels are to everyone but me, this brave part of me has once chosen to be small, to not be seen for anything more. And this is true.

But,

A larger part of me, a part of me that yearns to take up space and be seen who heard for who she is believes that to Witness, and even more, to be Witnessed,
is an act of courage.

to witness, and to be witnessed is proof of life.

to witness myself from the perspective of softness, being
in ways that once felt very unrealistic. to witness myself transform/prune/bloom in ways that once felt too distant
is an act that I am reminding myself daily not to take for granted.

I want to be a woman who allows herself to witness, to see life in the many ways it colors our skies, salts our tears, and makes us dance.
witnessing is an act of communion with self and time.
and we know that time is unpromised and limited
and so,

in this self that is expansive and
in this time where to witness is to be

loved
held
connected
seen
brave
compassionate
human
free

will you decide that you too, will be a witness
of you?

“you are worthy to be seen. you are worthy to be heard.
you are worthy to be sat with, to be walked beside. even in your quietest moments, you are worthy of witness.”
— jesmyn ward

may this reminder bear witness to the messy wholeness of us.

let’s witness ourselves and one another, its a safe space :)

• what does it feel like to be witnessed, to you?

• how does the way you witness your communitie(s) color how you witness yourself?

• write a poem from the perspective of someone witnessing you in the past, present, or future. are you you? are you an island? are you a dream?

                                                                                                                        be soft, be safe,
                                                                                                                                 LaVonna

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